Sad and lonely…

Obviously I’m the kind of person that can make problems appear out of nowhere. Today is a rainy day so I don’t have much to do, its summer so I’m on holidays from my studies. It’s been only 3 months since I’ve moved to my new two-room flat. The kitchen and bathroom are fully equipped but the rest of the flat is completely empty. There’s a huge bed in the middle of one of my rooms. The second room is completely empty. My lap is located on the floor, because I just don’t have any tables or anything yet. I don’t have many suits, shirts and pairs of jeans so most of that is just under the bed currently. I don’t have a TV set or radio, so my only source of technology, besides fridge and toaster, is my lap.

I’ve never thought that I’d feel so sad and lonely when I would live alone. This empty flat makes everything even worse; it feels like my soul is as empty as my flat. It’s a really depressing feeling. Why do I feel like that? When I was a kid I’ve always imagined how fun it would be if I could finally live without my Mom. I bet most of the kids wish to grow up faster; I wasn’t that kind of kid. I always have suspected what the life might be alone. I don’t have many friends; I just don’t believe that a person can have many friends, thought I’d say there are only two or three people who will be ready to help me whenever I might need them. Anyway this story is about me being unhappy staying in a place like my flat alone. In fact I really hate being here. Too bad I don’t have a good friend or girlfriend that I’d like to live with; I’m sure I would never be able to live with someone I don’t know well. Hopefully I’ll find a soul mate fast to fill in the emptiness within my flat and hearth.

Wait! I’ve got a good idea! I might get myself a cat. I just don’t like having hamsters or rats, I think those animals are not really suited to live with humans. About the dogs, they need time; you need to walk them every day while cats can walk alone. Once a friend of mine had given me her cat to deal with a mouse that was hiding somewhere in my flat. Well, it wasn’t my idea and as I expected it didn’t work, however it was fun to spend time with her cat. I’m not really sure I’d get a pet, because it’s an extra responsibility and I don’t really like working or doing things. Yeah, I’m lazy, very lazy. And I love to keep my flat clean and in a good condition. Having a pet might give me some extra chores that I don’t really need.

Ehh, I should return to return to my work soon. This surely is one sad and lonely evening; hopefully I’ll not have many of those in my future. I wander why it is so hard for me to find a girl of my dreams. Somehow I’ve been very unlucky with this. Once I lost a gorgeous girlfriend because I moved to another city, then I lost another one because she moved to another country. If this continues then my next girlfriend will move to another planet. Crap, I’ve got a good job, I’m studying in the best university in my country and I have almost everything a person might wish. I seem to be so unlucky in love and gambles and so lucky in everything else. Most likely there must be a balance in ones life.

Well, enough for one day…

~ by James Clock on August 5, 2008.