Asked: 10 Weird things about me…

Miss Chee tagged me to make up 10 weird things about me so, here goes, 10 weird things about me! This will be hard…

1. I believe I can control the weather! Weird experience, but whenever I wish it to rain it actually starts to rain and whenever I want it to stop, it’ll stop within 15 minutes.

2. I can listen to the same song for 2 hours straight! This happens only to the songs I really like, but after these 2 hours I get so fed up that I won’t listen to them ever again.

3. I don’t really like growing up and living alone.

4. I just can’t get drunk. It’s proven!

5. It is extremely easy for a girl to get me embarrassed.

6. I sleep with 2 pillows, one under my head and another one under my feet.

7. I’m happy to see my friends at my door at 3:00 am in the morning, although they are there almost every Saturday/Sunday.

8. I sleep naked and I have a cute fluffy orange wrapper in case my friends would decide to pay me a visit during the night. I can’t understand why but the wrapper makes the girls extremely happy. A friend of mine [girl] who lives next door invites all her girlfriends to her house so that they could visit me at 3:00 am and see me in that wrapper.

9. I believe I have everything a man needs to be happy and still I feel unhappy with my life.

10. Whenever I get sick, my temperature is always over 40 degrees C for 2-3 days and after that I’m again ready to go.

 

I won’t tag any other people just because I don’t know anybody with a blog to answer these, sorry Chee.

 

Holidays: Random beach…

            It’s been a while since my last post… almost a week. Well, I was on holidays!

This Saturday I received a message from my friend. It said: “Let’s spend a night somewhere!” At first I thought it was a joke or something but when I called him we decided to go to the sea. I’ve been to the sea pretty often this summer but this time we decided to stay and sleep at the beach. I haven’t slept in tents since I lived in that rural area I told about before, but he assured me it’d be fun and all, and I agreed.

We had an awesome party at the beach with a campfire and all that stuff. We were 6 in total. I, my friend and 4 girls… was fun. Two of those girls were my friends and the other two were his. It took us one hour by train till we reached a village, we chose a random village, cause we planned to stay at the coast anyway. Then about 30 minutes of walking through the forest paths and we finally reached the sea. We arrived at 10:00 pm, Saturday. It was getting dark, 30 minutes later, after a fabulous sunset it became dark. We could say we arrived just in time to see the sun dive in the sea. It took only 5 minutes but it was such a cute view. The girls we had with us really seemed to like it a lot, well, I also was impressed. Setting up a tent took a while. We had only one tent but it was a big one.

This was the first time when I saw the sea at night. So cool! The moon was up, we were like 3 km away from the nearest village, so that moon was the only light source until we finally succeeded in making a campfire. Especially when it was about 2 am it became a bit foggy and the moon became yellow and started to glow softly. It was a bit spooky, but still an awesome experience. The sky above our heads was clear, so we could see the stars clearly; too bad I forgot my glasses at home, I need them when I want to see things in a sharp way, but I rarely use them; usually seeing things perfectly isn’t necessary at all. Far away at the sea there was a storm. We could see the lighting at the horizon, if you stretch your arm and point one finger up, the lightning seemed as big as that finger you pointed. It was so far away that we didn’t even hear the thunder but it still was a remarkable view. We have taken a lot of pictures of that but those pictures don’t really resemble the atmosphere there, it was too dark for photography. Although it’s the end of summer and it was night it wasn’t too cold, so we went swimming, in the middle of the night. I’ve never done this before, but I liked it. The water wasn’t cold at all. The moon, the sea and beach at night in the summer, the light and fresh breeze, if you have a chance to experience it, do it, it’s worth it unless it’s really cold outside.

The campfire was hard to make. The day before we arrived to the spot it was raining so everything was a little wet, but we still somehow managed to light that fire up. That friend of mine I mentioned is an official scout, so he knew what and how to do it the best way. We didn’t sleep that night at all. We had 3 bottles of wine, not much, but that was high quality wine we had, so it turned out fun without anyone being really out of control. The next day we were a little sleepy but we went to swim again and that was like a cold shower in the morning. We spent half of the day at the shore. A little bit of sun and swimming, a little bit of having fun and all. I’ve returned home approximately at 6 pm yesterday. My shoes were full of sand, my body wanted a nice warm shower and my mind wanted to sleep. I’m really happy we did that. In fact it was so good that we decided to repeat that in 2 weeks. Well, I’m looking forward to it!

Just another rainy day…

            As long as I have time I’ll post everything can think of. Soon I’ll need to return to my school life, means a lot of studying and a bit of free time which I’ll most likely waist on sleeping.

            Recently I said I’ll be having fun 2 weeks straight, well, I feel like nature is totally against me. It’s been raining since yesterday and the weather report isn’t bringing any good news, looks like it’ll stay like that for a week or so. The view from my window is really cool though, there are clouds and rain, a bit depressing atmosphere but in some spots in the sky the clouds form holes through which the sunrays are flowing through. I’m no good at describing that view, but you can use your imagination here. I don’t get to see such picture often. The sea must be cold now, so there’s no point in going there. Many of my friends are currently called tourists, in fact only a little gang of my friends is currently in town. So I’m lonely again… at least today… a lot of music went through my ears today… Well, soon it’s time to sleep, so I’ll just watch a movie before going to bed. A friend of mine has brought a DVD this morning saying it’s a good one, so I’ll give it a try. She came by to say “bye”; she’s going to Spain tomorrow. She’ll be back in a week as she says. My friends often give me stuff like music CD’s or movies whatever they can get. My Internet connection is really slow… wireless… If I’d try to download something, it’d take like 6 hours for a single movie, so I don’t do it and as you remember I don’t have TV or anything… The movie is called “Mongol” (2007); I might post my thought about it afterwards if I’ll feel like it.

            The bad thing about living alone is that there’s no one who’d cook for you. I just suck at cooking. Ok, I’m not really terrible but I can make only some basic stuff, nothing exclusive. My mom is really good at this though, so when she makes something great I just go and eat at her place. My mom is a really unusual mom. She looks like she’s in her 20ties, yeah, really young, but in fact I’m the one who’s allmost in 20ties. She told me that this summer in a shop she was asked if she was a student because students can get discounts. We laughed about that a little. It’s kind of cool to have a mom like that, because it’s easy to handle things with her. She spends a lot of time with her friends, I might even say she has more friends and she spends more time with them then I do.

            Whatsoever, this surely was a peaceful day, my first free Monday within the past few months; hopefully I’ll see a nice dream this night. I rarely remember dreams though.

My sad love story…

In general I believe I’m a very lucky guy. The only 2 things I’m unlucky in are gambles and love. I’ll leave the gambles for some other day, so today it’s about my unlucky and sad romance. Where to start… Most likely wherever I’d start I’d be the same story, so I’ll start with the first time I really was in love.

It was the time when I was approximately 10 years old. At that time I wasn’t living in the capital like I am now. I lived with my granny in another big city in my country. There were a lot of new young families in our district, well the district itself was pretty new, and it wasn’t close to the center of the city. It was a fun time but it also was the kind of life I’d not like to live ever again. As I mentioned the district was new. Lots of buildings weren’t finished; some were abandoned. Kids had a lot of places to spend their time in. Many buildings had those “do not enter” or “under construction” signs, but what do that matter to a 10 year old kids who believe they are immortal or old enough to know what they can or can’t do. At least we were like that. I can remember a lot of times when we were in real danger but I’m happy that nobody ever died there, at least not on my eyes. Injuries were seen often though. The city was pretty modern but police was something I never saw then, we didn’t have a police station in our district, no wander part of the neighborhood was on drugs at the age of 10, others smoked or drunk. Somehow I managed to avoid that. I also saw a lot of fighting those days. I didn’t really like being in the city, yes, I had a lot of friends there and we used to spend a lot of time together, but I was really sad when I saw some of them using drugs, it really changed them. Slowly it corrupted our friendship.

My granny also had a summer house. It was located outside the city. Unfortunately I was able to be there only in the weekends, because my school was located in the city. 60 minutes of traveling by bus and we were there. If you ask me to describe my life I’d say it was hell and haven, hell in the city and haven in the summer house. I did like school but seeing how many of my friends ruined their lives makes me feel so sad every time I remember that. The summer house was located far from any other villages or cities; we had a little neighborhood of 6 families living in 6 houses and 50 of miles of pure nature around us. It was like a mini village. There were 3 kids in total, all three guys. I was the oldest one, the second kid was a year younger and the third one was 2 years younger than me. I wasn’t the kid who had a lot of toys; I didn’t even have a PC then. So most of the time was spend doing whatever we could do at the lake or with the things we had. Then when I was almost 10 a new family moved in our neighborhood. Somebody had sold their house so we got a forth kid to play with. She was one year younger than me, it was like a little shock to me when I first saw her, I wasn’t informed about a new family moving in, and so the time when I saw her was my first time knowing about that. She was blonde, with a cute face; almost instantly I started to like her, I was happy I got a new friend. She had those fantastic eyes, I’ll never forget those. She was also really cute and good looking. I’d say she looked better than any of my classmates or city friends. At first we were just friends. All four of us had a lot of good time together; I thought we might remain like that forever. Then after a year in June she confessed to me. During the winter I wasn’t able to spend much time with her, we could meet only on Saturdays and Sundays. She lived in the same city but in another district so we weren’t really able to meet during the week. It was really the kind of feeling I’ll never forget. It was so great, cool, and nice; I can’t find a single word. I thought I wasn’t in love with her before she confessed, I was wrong. Of curse I didn’t turn her down. I’d be a real idiot if I’d do that. Slowly I started to spend more and more and more time with her instead of being at the city or with the other two guys. Just spending time with her made me happy, we were spending a lot of time at the lake during the summer at winter we spend a lot of time in her or my summer house. My granny was petty busy then so she didn’t knew anything, in fact I think she still has no clue that we were together. I’m sure that time was something I’ll never forget. She was really perfect to me and we spent approximately 5 years together. Those were the best years of my life.

Then, when I finished my 9^th grade I got a fantastic opportunity to study at the best school in our country, yeah, something that almost nobody could afford I got for free. Of course the school was located in the capital. My mom was living in the capital the whole time; I was living with her till the age of 6 when she got divorced. I wasn’t told why or anything she still doesn’t want to talk to me about that, she just said that it was my dad’s fault but I don’t need to know what exactly. She also had some financial problems at that time; she wasn’t working then, so I was sent to live to my grannies place.  She was visiting us very often but still, it wasn’t like I lived with her. When I was almost 16, she had a huge debt to the bank, because she had bought a second flat, planning to grant it to me when I’d get older. Ironically, I had to choose between my love and my life. Well, I wasn’t really the one making the choice. Granny had to sell the summer house to help out my mom. My mom is really thankful to her. Now my granny lives in another country with her sisters, she said she got lonely living alone in that city when I was gone; this means the flat there was also sold. I don’t have any bonds left to that place now. She really saved us during that time. In fact my mom and dad had bought the summer house for my granny just before my dad left us. As I know he went to Germany or maybe out of Europe. I haven’t seen him since then, so I don’t really remember him. I did understand that it’s for the better, that such opportunities come really rarely to someone who does not live in the capital. I also knew that most likely I’d not be able to get a proper education in where I was then.

But somehow something in my hearth still hurts. It was a wound then, now it’s just a huge scar across my hearth, it’ll always remind me about the happiness I enjoyed then and the pain I suffered afterwards. The only thing I regret in my life so far is that I didn’t find a better solution than leaving her. At that day, when we were supposed to meet for the last time, you should have seen her face. That sadness and tears on her face, something I wish I never saw. Like a knife cutting me apart. Our worlds were crushed completely. The worst thing was that we weren’t even able to say goodbye to each other. I remember clearly that day, and I always will. I’m really sorry she had to suffer all this; I really hope she’s happy now with someone else who’ll never leave her and be always by her side.

It’s really hard to express my feeling now. It’s been almost 4 years ago after all. I’ve had 2 more serious girlfriends since then. Though it wasn’t the feeling I had before. It was something way less important to me. It’s hard to explain. One girlfriend left me for another guy because I was often late for dates. Well, I didn’t feel like she was the right one for me anyway. I don’t feel like talking about her, and then another girlfriend came at my 12^th grade. She was a really nice girl but well, we spent only half a year with her, then she went to another country and I was left alone again. Though this all wasn’t like what I had with that first girl. You may think 11 year old guy can’t really love a 10 year old girl and 10 year old girl can’t really love 11 year old boy but I must assure you that you’re so wrong then! I’m on a search again, it’s been a year since my last date with my girlfriend, imagine, a year! Of course I have to study hard now and all, but I also seem not to meet really cute girls. I thought of going on exchange to another country but I can’t decide where, so it’s still just an idea.

Some final words; may be it was destiny, may be a warning or whatever, maybe it all was for the better, but you know, I didn’t feel like I was doing the right thing when I was leaving. I just kept telling myself that I didn’t have a choice that my mom needed a lot of money quickly and so on, but my hearth just wouldn’t listen. Well, seems now I’m pass that, open for some new experience and I hope there’s a hot chick somewhere that’s cute and lonely and needs me.

Besides, recently I found a phone number of that girl whom I loved so much. I wander if I should call her? If I would call her what could I say to her? I’m really not sure. I don’t really have any feelings for her now. What if her personality has changed and I wouldn’t like her now. Maybe I should just keep the good memories and live on. I’m so confused about this matter.

In any case, that’s my sad love story. My only wish is that nothing like that would ever happen to anyone again. Never leave those you love from the depths of your hearth! I wander if I’ll get my happy ending with some other girl soon or will I wander this world alone for many more years… let’s just wait and see and if I won’t get tired of posting you’ll also be informed…

That’s it for this Sunday…

The “Power of Misunderstanding”…

            During a conversation with my mother today I’ve really felt the “power of misunderstanding”. It’s been a while since our last dinner together. She lives in the same city so it’s not hard to get to her. She’s the kind of girl who can handle herself; at least I believe she can do it. Sometimes we just meet and spend some time together, she really likes spending time with me, so I’m glad she’s happy.

Now back to the real topic. Sometimes a group of people is talking about something and they believe they’re talking about the same thing but in fact every member of the conversation has something different in mind. It seems funny and scary, fascinating and depressing to me. We’re speaking the same language but possibly meaning completely different things by our sentences and words. This may cause some misunderstandings and lead to somebody being hurt. That’s what I call the “power of misunderstanding”. I’m confused a little. Word that I associate with something may mean something completely different to others and vice versa. This makes me think if anything that I say or write is understood the way I understand it? Here comes the depressing conclusion. Most likely it’s not, meaning, though I know 3.5 languages I can’t really express myself precisely and there’s nobody out there who can catch my ideas perfectly, at least not from the first sentence. Most likely if I’d describe things a much as I could then I’d never be misunderstood but this still makes me feel a little lonely, like I’m locked in my own world and the tool I used to communicate to others isn’t working perfectly. Well, I’ve always known that language is not a supreme tool of the society but still, it seems weaker that I anticipated. The main idea of this is that we should be careful about what we say, because sometimes we can easily hurt our friends or family without rethinking the sentences we use. And if I’ve said something that may be understood in many ways, I should not hesitate and clarify it right a way. Well, basically that’s what I did before unconsciously. Though in general the difference must be really insignificant, because today was the first time I really felt it. So, most of us still understand each other in a right way. Great!

Shortly about work, today was our presentation day, my part wasn’t really very important but I still felt a bit unease, however everything turned out great. I don’t really like public speaking. And I really hate my monkey suit, though I really look good in it. C’mon, I’m not that old. It’s hard to look like a serious professional in my age; however the monkey suit is a great tool to make me look serious. Anyway, it was my last job anyway, so now it’s when the real holiday will start. Most likely a lot of new posts will appear soon.

I’m happy I’ve registered in wordpress.com; I really like it, especially because I’ve got such a nice person to talk to already. Cheers for Miss Cherokee! I really hope you’ll be happy in your life. Well then, it’s time to get some sleep, I truly hope it to be a 12 hour sleep so I’ll make my clock silent this time. Good night.

A day off…

Today is a great day, first day within the last 2 weeks when I was able to sleep as long as I want. I’m working in executive search sphere, which means I have to make companies gain more profit by improving whatever is possible to improve, mainly we just search for professionals to fill in the weak spots in the company, but sometimes a major project is needed. Our company needs freelancers most of the time, so it’s a perfect place for me. I’m doing this kind of work only in summer, during my studies it’s almost impossible to work, and I don’t feel like tearing myself apart between the studies and work. Well, our project is finished one day ahead of schedule so I have a day off. Now we just need to present the results to the customers company this Friday and I’ll have enough money to survive till Christmas. Got to get my suit from underneath the bed this evening and make sure it looks good. I want to have some fun for the next two weeks before my school starts, so this’ll be my last project this summer. My mom is helping me with money, so I think that should be enough. The work I’m doing also counts as an internship for my university, very nice!

 

            It’s sunny outside and it’s still an early morning, I’ll try to gather some of my best friends and head out to the sea, however it’s Thursday, means people most likely are working, but I bet I can get at least somebody. I live pretty far from the sea, well, I need an hour to get to the sea if I go by public transport, but I hate using a bus when it’s so hot outside, so I just usually find somebody who has a driver’s license and a car and we share the gas costs.

 

My mom gave me few papers to translate that she needs for work but I don’t feel like doing anything when the weather is so awesome, especially if I’m not paid for it, so I’ll just leave it till Friday evening or holidays. She said it must be done by Monday, so I’ll have plenty of time for that. That reminds me, some school and internship papers must be prepared by 19^th of august, yeah, I have a lot of time, but it’s still better to do now, when I remember about it. I also have to have my hair cut before the school starts. Ehh, so many things to do, how uninteresting, but I’m not going to do anything today. It’s my “day off”, and so it will stay.

 

A week ago an old friend of mine called me, when we were kids we used to spend a lot of time together, now he lives in another country. I haven’t seen him for 8 years or so, I wander what kind of person is he now. His family is coming to my country to visit his grandparents who happen to live nearby to my new flat, so we should be able to meet next week. If I open my little schedule book I see that my whole next week is completely empty and I’ve got nothing planned at all, so I really should meet that guy.

 

I’ve just made a call to my schoolmate. She’ll be by my house in 30 minutes, so I’ll just finish this for now. We’ll pick up her good friend and friends boyfriend, so we’ll be four in total. We are all good friends so it should be fun and I could use some tanning. I didn’t have much time for that till now.

Sad and lonely…

Obviously I’m the kind of person that can make problems appear out of nowhere. Today is a rainy day so I don’t have much to do, its summer so I’m on holidays from my studies. It’s been only 3 months since I’ve moved to my new two-room flat. The kitchen and bathroom are fully equipped but the rest of the flat is completely empty. There’s a huge bed in the middle of one of my rooms. The second room is completely empty. My lap is located on the floor, because I just don’t have any tables or anything yet. I don’t have many suits, shirts and pairs of jeans so most of that is just under the bed currently. I don’t have a TV set or radio, so my only source of technology, besides fridge and toaster, is my lap.

I’ve never thought that I’d feel so sad and lonely when I would live alone. This empty flat makes everything even worse; it feels like my soul is as empty as my flat. It’s a really depressing feeling. Why do I feel like that? When I was a kid I’ve always imagined how fun it would be if I could finally live without my Mom. I bet most of the kids wish to grow up faster; I wasn’t that kind of kid. I always have suspected what the life might be alone. I don’t have many friends; I just don’t believe that a person can have many friends, thought I’d say there are only two or three people who will be ready to help me whenever I might need them. Anyway this story is about me being unhappy staying in a place like my flat alone. In fact I really hate being here. Too bad I don’t have a good friend or girlfriend that I’d like to live with; I’m sure I would never be able to live with someone I don’t know well. Hopefully I’ll find a soul mate fast to fill in the emptiness within my flat and hearth.

Wait! I’ve got a good idea! I might get myself a cat. I just don’t like having hamsters or rats, I think those animals are not really suited to live with humans. About the dogs, they need time; you need to walk them every day while cats can walk alone. Once a friend of mine had given me her cat to deal with a mouse that was hiding somewhere in my flat. Well, it wasn’t my idea and as I expected it didn’t work, however it was fun to spend time with her cat. I’m not really sure I’d get a pet, because it’s an extra responsibility and I don’t really like working or doing things. Yeah, I’m lazy, very lazy. And I love to keep my flat clean and in a good condition. Having a pet might give me some extra chores that I don’t really need.

Ehh, I should return to return to my work soon. This surely is one sad and lonely evening; hopefully I’ll not have many of those in my future. I wander why it is so hard for me to find a girl of my dreams. Somehow I’ve been very unlucky with this. Once I lost a gorgeous girlfriend because I moved to another city, then I lost another one because she moved to another country. If this continues then my next girlfriend will move to another planet. Crap, I’ve got a good job, I’m studying in the best university in my country and I have almost everything a person might wish. I seem to be so unlucky in love and gambles and so lucky in everything else. Most likely there must be a balance in ones life.

Well, enough for one day…